- When Great Minds Meet By : Tim-Knox
When the richest man in America meets the world's greatest Elvis impersonator, you know only good things could come of it. Could 'Don't Be Cruel' really become Microsoft's new theme song? - What's my mama gonna say? By : Tim-Knox
I know you're going to find this hard to believe, but I, Tim Knox, am a sexist pig. Sorry, mama. I had no idea. - Thingamabobs And Whatchamadigits By : Tim-Knox
My daughter cornered me the other night, wanting to know about the birds and bees. Actually, she wanted to know what "sectional misconduct" was. - The Unsinkable Tim Knox By : Tim-Knox
I call them 'Ti-taniacs.' They look perfectly normal at first, but eventually they will ask, 'Have you seen 'Titanic' yet? That's when their dimentia rolls to the surface and the all-out assault begins - The Tax Man Cometh By : Tim-Knox
Someone once said the only things in life that are certain are death and taxes I think the only difference between the two is that death claims you just once, but taxes can kill you every year. - The Smarter White Meat By : Tim-Knox
A college professor at Penn State is trying to teach pigs to communicate using computers. I think this guy is one pork rind short of a full bag. Who wants to get email from a pig? - The Sky Is Falling By : Tim-Knox
When you turn on the TV and learn that a giant, killer asteroid is headed your way, you have to ask yourself certain questions. Like, should I have that second bowl of Crispy Hexagons or just stop at one? - The Sky Is Falling By : Tim-Knox
When you turn on the TV and learn that a giant, killer asteroid is headed your way, you have to ask yourself certain questions. Like, should I have that second bowl of Crispy Hexagons or just stop at one? - The Religion Of Football By : Tim-Knox
Here in Alabama, there are three kinds of people: Crimson Tide fans, War Eagle fans, and atheists. - The Real McCaugheys By : Tim-Knox
What's it take to raise seven babies? Love, patience, understanding, and Prozac, lots and lots of Prozac. - The New Fab Four By : Tim-Knox
They sing, they dance, they drive the kids wild. But how best to describe the Teletubbies to the uninitiated? Imagine this: if Pink Floyd produced a half-hour show for kids, this would be it. And you would enjoy it immensely. - The Intelligent Diaper By : Tim-Knox
I believe it was Frank Zappa who said, "Necessity is the mother of invention," which means that if there is a need for something, sooner or later, someone will invent it. And then Microsoft will rip it off. - The Four Letters Between PG & R By : Tim-Knox
When you're a kid, there are certain words you dare not say. Swear words, my mother called them, cuss words. Today, my kids call them "daddy words." You can probably figure out why. - The Dust Settles On Miss America By : Tim-Knox
The Miss America Pageant is taking its last breath. Will the mourners have to wear swimsuits to the funeral, or will evening gowns be enough? - Staying Alive By : Tim-Knox
If someone offered you a pill that would add 50 years to your life, would you take it? Not me. At least not until I found out who'd be footing the bill for all that extra life.
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