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Home | Arts & Entertainment | Humor The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. - Rita Mae Brown If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened. - Cora Harvey Armstrong There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. - Douglas Adams I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose. - Dennis Miller I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. - Homer J. Simpson I've been married five times, and people think that's some bizarre thing, yet I've got buddies who refuse to get married and are intimate with 15 people a week. I'm like, Which is better? At least I was trying. - Billy Bob Thornton I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix. - Dan Quayle Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. - Groucho Marx Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed. - Albert Einstein Its been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. - Rodney Dangerfield If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it? - Albert Einstein There are better things in life than alcohol, but alcohol makes up for not having them. - Terry Pratchett Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes we want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen Article Source: http://www.articlewheel.com
Aazdak Alisimo likes a good laugh just like anyone else, particularly funny quotes updated each and every day at FunnyQuotesDaily.com.
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