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Home | News & Society | Divorce For everyone involved with divorce there is always going to be pain and stress and hence the decision to proceed is never easy. When two people marry the idea of divorce is of course never an issue, nor should it be. But divorce means there will be a big change in our lives and this in itself can be a real reason why some people feel unable to go any further with one. It is an end to the dreams once held and goes completely opposite to what they envisaged their life would be like. Such a situation can be a big hurdle, but needless to say, there are others that will be discussed here. For many, it is the children that present the greatest obstacle in the divorce decision making process. Parents simply hate to cause distress in their children and parents understandably believe that divorce should not be considered where children, especially young children, are in the family. However, you have to appreciate that children are very much aware what is going on in the household. They can usually detect the attitudes and unpleasant atmospheres between their parents. Telling children that their parents are about to divorce sometimes brings the comments that they knew it would happen because they could see and feel things were not happy between their parents. The home changes when divorce is contemplated and particularly if one parent find it necessary to leave. This disruption can cause children to be very upset simply because a parent that was once there is not there any longer. Sensible parents will strive to ensure that children have times set so they can meet up with and spend time with the parent that has left home. The matrimonial home is often the center of huge disputes in divorce. But is this avoidable? If you consider that the house is merely a collection of materials such a timber, tiles, blocks and shingles then the idea of a home diminishes. In reality, it is the residents that turn the house into a home. Divorce means that the parents have become unhappy in the home, too, so why invest a lot of time in it trying to retain it? Lots of nice houses exists and with the right touch, these can be turned into delightful homes. Is it not better to dispose of the once family home and divide the money received? Use the proceeds to buy another one as there are many out there waiting for you. Now that the family home and the children have been mentioned, it is appropriate to consider the husband and wife that seek the divorce. The ending of a marriage is very distressing. Equally, staying in a marriage that is failing is also distressing. So, is there any real reason why you should continue with all this distress? It wastes a lot of energy and because of this, is pointless. In times gone by, did you have love, happiness, joy and peace? You need to remember that these emotions have not disappeared; they are still within you. Divorce or contemplating a divorce has temporarily shut these out of your life for a while, but they are waiting to be found and brought to the fore again. It is a fact that deciding to go ahead with a divorce can be far more stressful than proceeding with the divorce itself. The feeling of yes I will go ahead is often countered with the feeling not to and this can cause a lot of pain and worry. Advice can be sought from a range of professionals including lawyers and councilors, but all these people will tell you that the decision to divorce or not must be left to you. Once the decision to divorce has been made by one party, and a lawyer has been appointed, there can be quite a sense of relief as the decision has finally been made and the rest is essentially a legal process that has to be gone through. Naturally, the process of divorce will have its own distresses. You need to realise that by going through this, you are indeed focusing on a new goal in your life that could bring you happiness and contentment again. Only you can decide whether or not to divorce your partner. Understandably, both parties, whether you are the petitioner or you are the respondent, will find the proceedings challenging; ending a marriage is painful. The decision to divorce is important and you have to ask yourself is it the right decision at this time. You would need to think carefully about the consequences of having a divorce right now, or postponing it until later. Taking advice is a wise thing to do, and it is sensible to write it all down rather than trying to remember every word given to you. When you have done this, like many people, you may find the decision to seek a divorce now, or to wait a while, is much simpler. Article Source: http://www.articlewheel.com
Rita Willetts is the webmaster and operator of Apres Divorce a web site which focuses on divorce issues. For more information, go to: www.apresdivorce.com
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