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Home | News & Society | Relationships Parterapi is regarded by many I've spoken to as a last ditch effort. After a long period marked by great dissatisfaction, one is almost ready for divorce. Long talks and arguments haven't helped. Neither has speaking with friends and relatives, priests and bartenders. All the good advice one gets seems difficult to apply and one is close to giving up. Parterapi is perceived as the last resort. A brave attempt to save a faltering realtionship. For many the thought of having to pay cash for help in working out a relationship is seen as a defeat. And it's expensive as well... Upon arrival at therapy, it often turns out that the expectations, far from shared, are quite different for the two participants. For some, it is already over and only the tidying up remains. Help (or courage) is needed to end an often painful existence. Some arrive unwilling to participate but unable to decline being "dragged" there by the other - unwilling or unable to refuse to taking part in what may be a fruitless rescue attempt. Many people come with expectations of getting some quick advice on how to shore up their partnership so they can continue happily just as before it all started to change. - And they come to the couples therapist and are told that there is no magic cure. They, themselves, will have to do the work, and the help they can get comprises support and guidance in (re)building a trusting and loving relationship. They are told that it will take time and hard work, that they will experience progress and relapses, laughter and tears, frustration and - above all - that it will require courage. It takes courage to reveal oneself to another. Courage to share one's thoughts and aspirations, courage to share one's innermost feelings. It takes courage to show one's strengths and weaknesses and courage to stand up - fearful and without protection - and encounter another, open and vulnerable. Boy ! Not strange that so many give up after a couple of tries. Or never even begin. For those who make the effort and succeed, it has been well worth the work. The results of therapy are an increase in self confidence and in confidence in each other and in the relationship. Therapy provides strategies for solving future problems and difficulties, increased insight into ways of confronting the world and an understanding of how differences are important. The couple learns how they can help each other achieve the dreams neither one can achieve on his/her own. They often say to themselves in the end: "Whay did we wait such a long time?", "What prevented us from starting earlier?", "I wonder where we'd be today if we'd started all this long, long ago?", "If only we had known" Article Source: http://www.articlewheel.com
Having marital problems? Ilan Wolffberg is an American parterapi expert and has been residing in Denmark for over 30 years. Check out his take on couples therapy at "On Couples Therapy" and in Danish at "Om parterapi"
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